31 for 21 – October 9 – A blessing and a curse

Sorry, no Elliot photo today - today took a turn.
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I suppose one could say that I am savvy from a medical standpoint. A mother learns quickly when multiple organs and multiple specialists are involved; when prematurity is involved; when home health, home medical equipment; when the masses

are

involved.

Indeed, the extra chromosome, beloved as it may be, has thrown many a momma a hell of a curve ball.

If momma is not involved, does not learn quickly, does not ask the right questions to the right specialists at the right times, things fall through the cracks and babe suffers.

My babe has not suffered. He is armed, and both fortunately, and unfortunately, so am I.

But still, with all of the information in my head, I tend to read between the lines a little bit too much. And sometimes, it’s not a good place – between the lines.

Case in point – today.

I know leukemia, not personally, but I know many a mother who has dealt with the wretched disease (they are rocks and they are smart and their kids receive the best care known to man). I know that Elliot has a higher probability than others who are not chromosomally enhanced. I know what to look for.

But today, it was Isaac. The groin nodules, the bruises, and thank heavens, no petechiae. Yah, he’s two and is a crash and burn kind of kid, hence the bruises, but then I see a big one on his lower back.

I

AM

A

MESS.

Call to pedi; immediate appointment today (GOD love her); blood work STAT; and no, she indicated that I was not really that crazy. Said she runs CBCs all the time to rule things out on her own kiddos. Well, we ran it all, and she did not question me.

“I know; you and Elliot have been through a lot; his surgeries; his ‘stuff.’”

“It’s okay, lets run it all stat and you can breathe over the weekend.”

She calls me – ‘herself’ (you all know – pretty damn rare unless they are good).

“Michelle, it’s normal – we are waiting on the SED rate, but the majority is normal.”

I am breathing. My husband wants to cut my head off, but I am breathing. Isaac was probably poked for nothing, but I am breathing…I am armed and my kids are armed.

So yah, a blessing and a curse. The knowledge. But, when the rubber meets the road (often in our household) it’s more of a blessing. It’s better to know and treat if need be…and it is better to breathe.